Beauty And The Beast
by Magick Starr
Summary: Songfic. Song is 'Beauty and the Beast' by Nightwish. Pairing is Jam. Bit confusing, not much of a concrete storyline to this really but I hope you like it anyway! As always, leave a review!


A/N: I don't know if this will work or not, I hope it does, and I hope you like it. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. The italics are Sam's thoughts, the regular bits are Jo's. Obviously the bold bits are the song lyrics! I have a feeling this will be very difficult to understand. If you lot can, I will worship you because I wrote it and even I don't get it! I suppose sometimes words just flow in weird ways. Song is Nightwish's Beauty and the Beast.

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_I remember when we'd just met and were working together. I'd like to say it was love at first sight, all that stuff, forbidden glances across the office and stolen kisses by the coffee machine, but it wasn't was it? We hated each other, well, I know now it wasn't hate, but for a long time I thought you meant nothing to me, I thought you were just an annoying DC out to wind me up. I'm glad I know you better know. I'm glad we've spent this time together, it's meant so much to me._

_**Remember the first dance we shared?**_

_I remember when we first kissed, it wasn't magical, or sparks flying, it was just a kiss. It was different, the first time I'd kissed a woman and I didn't know what to expect. After a while kissing you did feel magical, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before, but it was nice. I loved you. _

_**Recall the night you melted my ugliness away?**_

_I remember when you left that morning, with nothing but a goodbye and a hug. You'd lain with me that night, held me tight in your arms. I wasn't ready for anything more, and you could see that. Discovering my feelings for you was enough to cope with in one day; I couldn't handle a whole new… experience as well. I needed to get my head around things, and you let me do that. When you held me I felt closer to you than I ever had to anyone else in my life. It was a bond I'd never shared before and I doubt I ever will again._

The night you left with a kiss so kind 

_I remember when you told me that you loved me. It was a slip of the tongue, but not one you took back, you'd meant it, even if it had been said accidentally. We stayed together for hours after that, in the middle of the afternoon, lying on the sheets of the bed, your arms wrapped around me, my fingers entwined with yours. I miss those times we spent together, just whispering our love in the other's ear. A simple kiss to break the silence every now and again, so comfortable in each other's company. _

_**Only a scent of beauty left behind**_

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I remember the happy times we spent together. I felt so lost in your grip, like nothing could ever hurt me again. That closeness we shared was one I could never describe, I loved you with all my heart. My feelings for you were one's I doubt anyone had ever experienced before.

_**Ah, dear friend I remember the night**_

I remember the memories we shared together. Nights spent in each other's arms, days spent glancing across a crowded CID hoping to catch a glimpse of each other. It was a fantastic feeling, being with someone I cared for, and who cared for me.

_**The moon and the dreams we shared**_

I remember the nerves you had when we first spent a night together. I took your hand in my own and held you tight in an embrace. That was how we stayed all evening, holding each other tight, maybe a kiss or two at times, but nothing more. I left the next morning and it was like everything changed. But it changed for the better, you were a big part of my life, I can never forget that fact.

_**Your trembling paw in my hand**_

I remember the days we spent together, no work to interrupt us. We'd do something simple, lay in my garden sometimes, curled up together on the grass. Sometimes we went to the beach, it was quite a way to go, but we could spend the night in a hotel if we weren't in work the next day.

_**Dreaming of that northern land**_

I remember the snatched conversations in the corridors at work, both trying not to be found out by our colleagues, our relationship still young, but finding it impossible to ignore each other as we passed, even a short discussion about work better than nothing.

_**Touching me with a kiss of a beast**_

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_I can't think of us apart. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't sound right. I loved you, so much. I always thought that we would be together forever, it may sound corny but it's what I thought. You were always in my head, and being without you, even if it was only for the day at work, wasn't nice: I missed you. _

_**I know my dreams are made of you**_

_I can't tell if my life would ever be the same without you. I devoted myself to you, and you did the same to me. I never knew anything but us for a few years, and that was how I liked it, how we liked it. Sure, Abi was popping in and out of our lives, but she wasn't around much, and we learnt to be together all the time. _

_**Of you and only for you**_

_I can't imagine what my world would be like if I returned to how it was before you entered my life. It was a different world. I'd like to think I'd cope perfectly without you, and I'm sure I would. You and me, I guess we just don't fit any longer._

_**Your ocean pulls me under**_

_I can't tell if it's hurting because of the words I heard from you, or if it's hurting because I know they're true. But whichever, my heart's in pain right now, though in time that will stop, I know it will, you can't control me forever, I won't let you._

_**Your voice tears me asunder**_

_I can't uncover whether I begged you to stay for one more night because I wanted to salvage the relationship, or just reassure myself it was the right thing to do. I wanted to spend one last night in your arms, but was that to cling on to you, or to let go? Who knows, it could be either, I certainly don't know._

_**Love me before the last petal falls**_

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I can't figure out why I'm doing this. I look back over my shoulder, and all I see is the sea glistening in the sunset. Sand coating a deserted beach. The world has gone unnoticed to the catastrophe that tore us apart. Should they notice? Would I prefer it for everyone to watch as our worlds crumble, or for us to do this in private?

_**As a world without a glance**_

I can't see the things I want to see. I wish I could see that love we experienced once upon a time. All I see now is a shattered fantasy. That life we shared is dead now, there's nothing left of it, it's a broken dream we'll never find, yet never forget.

_**Of the ocean's fair expanse**_

I can't tell why nothing makes much sense, but then again, I never thought it would. The moment you came into my life I could tell that one day you'd turn it upside-down, but I didn't care, the time we spent together more than makes up for that.

_**Such a world would be**_

I can't see clearly into the future, but the past is all there. I know that if we never fell into each other's grip then this wouldn't hurt so much now, and our lives would not be in turmoil, but who cares? I felt different when I was with you, it was magical.

_**If no love did ever flow in thee**_

I can't explain this, but I think you understand because I can tell you feel it too. Things have changed; it's something I could never tell anyone but you, because I know no one else has ever felt this way. This is something we will share forever that no one else can fathom, maybe that's a good thing; it'll be a bond we'll share forever.

_**But as my heart is occupied**_

I can't comprehend how much this will hurt us. I wish I could change what was happening, but I can't. Everything we've ever shared must depart from both our hearts. You and me will never work out. I thought we would, but today everything deteriorated and it was no one's fault. Sometimes, that's just how life works out.

_**Your love to me now has to die**_

I can't stress enough how much you meant to me. You gave me everything I ever needed, and more. With you, my life was complete. But there's just something now that's broken that connection. I know it's real because I can see you've noticed it too. Our time together can't go on any longer, we're two different people needed in two different places. It's not right anymore.

_**Forgive me, I need more than you can offer me**_

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_I know that this isn't the way it's meant to be anymore. For five years this is what was meant to happen, I could always feel it coming, but neither of us could tell when it would strike. Our lives don't follow the same path anymore, we shouldn't be together any longer, we've had our turn, now it's someone else's go._

_**Didn't you read the tale**_

_I know all those stories that made this seem so real, well they were far from the truth, this could never be predicted. But even so, I can't help but think that maybe this was fate, like no matter what we did, this would always happen. _

_**Where happily ever after was to kiss a frog?**_

_I know where I'm going in life now. Up until now I've spent all my time fearing this moment, not making any plans further than that day, desiring only to keep us together. But now, there's no chance of us being together again, I'm free to do things I never imagined._

_**Don't you know this tale**_

_I know I used to think that life without you would be no life at all, well I don't mean to sound heartless, but a life without you is not a half-life, it's just a different life. All the time I've spent telling myself that I couldn't cope without you, well now I can, and what's more, as much as I'm grieving, I know it's for the best._

_**In which all I ever wanted**_

_I know things will never be the same again, but why would I want them to be? Why would I want to live half of a life twice, as a pose to an entire life right to the end? As much as I wish that you and me could have been for just a bit longer, I know that it's wouldn't work in the end, it was never meant to, I don't want to drag out the inevitable any longer._

_**I'll never have**_

_I know that all was lost, but not for nothing. Even if disaster hadn't struck, we would split eventually. You were never going to stay right for me. For a long time you were the perfect partner, but then everything changed, and as much as I wish it hadn't, I know that it's the only option. I'm no longer right for you, we can't try to change that, it's just circumstance, we could no longer fulfil each other, we both know that._

_**For who could ever learn to love a beast?**_

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I know that this won't be easy, but whoever said life was easy? Losing you is the worst thing to ever happen to me, but why cling to something that doesn't fit any longer? You and me worked for a long time, but things alter. I'm not the person you love any more; you're not the person I love. What happened today, it changes all that.

_**However cold the wind and rain**_

I know I'll never forget you. You were my everything. I'll be here for you when you need me, and I know that when I need you, you'll be waiting. The connection we shared will never die, but it's transformed into something unconventional that just can't work now.

_**I'll be there to ease up your pain**_

I know that whatever goes wrong from now on, is just what's meant to happen. As much as this hurts me now, I know that it's just how it's meant to end. When someone does something wrong, someone must be punished, well I'm sorry you're being punished too for my mistake, but I think you understand, if it hadn't happened now it would have another time. It was a long time ago that I went wrong, it's waited until now, until us, to punish me.

_**However cruel the mirrors of sin**_

I know that I no longer love you. It's not just me that's changed, you have too. I like the change in you, I can't deny that, but it doesn't fit in with my change. We're too different. You're the best person anyone can ever meet, and whoever is allowed in your heart, like I was, is the luckiest person alive, but I'm not that person anymore, and truth be told, I don't want to be. Love has stopped dead between us.

_**Remember, beauty is found within**_

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_I'll always know that you're special, but I can no longer see that. There'll always be a part of me that wants to go back to the time we were together, but my heart will stop me, for I can feel in my heart that time has passed by, and if we were to be reunited again, we would be two different people. Too different people to fit as one once more._

_**Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you**_


End file.
